


Broken

by Tootiredforinsomnia



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eren Yeager Needs a Hug, Hurt Eren Yeager, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:08:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26569300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tootiredforinsomnia/pseuds/Tootiredforinsomnia
Summary: Eren was the only one in the dark corridor leading to the small castles kitchen. It had been another day with Hange. Another day of changing between titan and human form, practicing his hardening skills and getting his titan limbs cut off to test his regeneration abilities. He had lost count of how many days exactly they had now been in the abandoned castle.All he knew was that he was tired.
Relationships: Levi & Eren Yeager
Kudos: 170





	Broken

Eren was the only one in the dark corridor leading to the small castles kitchen. It had been another day with Hange. Another day of changing between titan and human form, practicing his hardening skills and getting his titan limbs cut off to test his regeneration abilities. He had lost count of how many days exactly they had now been in the abandoned castle.   
All he knew was that he was tired. So incredibly tired of everything. Tired of experiencing the same pain in his own arms and legs over and over again. Tired of failing again and again. Today he hadn’t even been able to produce a titan form, that was able to carry it’s own weight. He had to be pulled out of it, because his own strength had decided to leave him at exactly that moment.   
That had been the end of this days training. 

So here he was, staggering through the narrow corridors at night, hoping that he would be able to find something to calm his anxious mind. To distract him from those lingering thoughts. What if he wouldn’t be able to pull it off? How many would die because if his incapability?

It was a bad combination, really. Being tired to the point of his vision fading whenever he turned around too quickly and not being able to sleep because his mind wouldn’t stop worrying about what would happen if he failed.

The floor felt cold beneath his bare feet. He took one more turn and entered the kitchen. He had expected it to be empty and dark and so he was surprised when he opened the creaky door and entered a dimly lit room.   
It took his exhausted mind a moment until he found the source of light. A single candle sat on one of the tables. Forcing his eyes upwards and away from the flickering light it took him a second to focus on the blurred person resting against the wall.  
Levi was the first to break the silence. 

„What are you doing, Yaeger?“ A moment went by before Eren understood that the question was directed to him.

„I was just, uh...“ He blinked, why was he here again?

„I was just here to get myself a tea.“  
His captain didn’t bother replying to that and so Eren turned around again. After waiting for his head to stop spinning he continued his journey. Taking one carefully placed step after the other he was sure that his captains gaze was drilling holes into his skull. 

Finally arriving at the kitchen counter his shaky hands grabbed the edge as if his life depended in it. He was more out of breath than he was willing to let his captain know.   
Prying his hand off the chilly counter, he willed his hand to take hold of the steel kettle. It felt as if filling the kettle took ages and he was painfully aware of Levi watching his every move.

Smash. 

It took him a moment to realize what had happened but his body had reacted immediately to the sudden noise by flinching as if he had been shot.  
He didn’t dare moving. He had failed yet again. Just like every other thing he ever did. He had failed to do something as simple as preparing a single cup of tea. How was he supposed to save humanity when he was this weak. In the end it was always like Jean said. He was weak and had to be saved. If it wasn’t Mikasa, it was Levi. And if it wasn’t Levi it was somebody else. He would never be able to save anyone if he wasn’t even able to save himself. 

“Yaeger.”

Oh. He had done it now. The captain had seen everything. Of course he had. It was probably only a matter of time before he would start berating and insulting him again, just like every other time he had screwed up these past days. And honestly, Eren thought that he deserved it. How many people were still suffering, how many had died due to his incompetence?

The kettle began to whistle. He hadn’t even noticed that his whole body was trembling now. His legs seemed to be on the brink of buckling under his weight and his hand was still hovering over the broken mug in front of him.

“Shit, damn it. I- I didn’t...”, he stumbled over his words, his voice quiet and shaky.

“I am so sorry! I wasn’t- I’ll clean this up right away!”

“Yaeger.”

“It won’t happen again! I-“

“Hey, Yaeger!”

“It wasn’t on purpose, I swear! I just didn’t-“

His wide eyes were still fixated on the shards in front of him. That’s why the sudden contact of a hand on his shoulder took him by surprise. 

It wasn’t even a particularly rough touch. Still, he flinched hard. Which was the breaking point for his body. His legs gave out and with a pathetic thud his bum made contact with the floor. His whole body ached but he didn’t dare to make any noise.

“Jesus Christ, Eren”, through his blurred vision he made out the figure if his captain, crouching down in front of his slumped figure. 

“You look like shit.”

He had expected anything. Insults, anger, maybe even some shouting. But not this statement. The absurdity of it forced a single raspy laugh out of his throat. It felt like sandpaper inside of him. He ended up coughing uncontrollably for a minute or two, the captain patting him on the back with an undefinable look on his face.  
After he had calmed down enough for his coughing to end in shaky breaths, Levi spoke again, this time with an expression on his face that might have scared Eren if he hadn’t been to tired to even be scared anymore.

“When was the last time you properly slept?”  
Eren closed his eyes and leaned against the cool wall behind him. Of course... the dreaded question.

“I don’t know.”   
Levi sighed, running his hand through his black hair. 

With a swift movement he rose to his feet. The whistling of the kettle stopped. Eren didn’t have the strength to lift his head and see what Levi was doing so he decided to close his eyes. After several quiet moments something hot was shoved into his hands. 

Tea, Eren realized. Somehow he willed his arms to start working, guiding the cup to his lips. The tea burned his mouth. It felt unreal so he took another sip. 

“I know what it feels like.” Levi had lowered himself in front of Eren again, resting his back against the counter.

“But you can’t let the fear of failing lead to actual failure.” Eren stared at his captain.

“You won’t be able to achieve anything, if you are in this state.”   
He was only stating the obvious, the facts that Eren had repeated to himself over and over these past days. And yet these words made so much more sense now.

“You’re not doing yourself or anybody else any good.” He lowered his eyes onto his now empty tea cup.

“Sometimes the best we can do is to just stay alive.”

Eren fell asleep that night. And the nights after that.


End file.
